Beware the friendly neighborhood devil worshippers in Satanic Panic trailer

A pizza delivery girl runs afoul of a wealthy socialite and her satanic cult in , a new horror comedy from Director Chelsea Stardust. Yes, it’s kind of a bonkers premise, but the trailer is a lot of fun, mining the same cheekily irreverent vein as the films.

Samantha “Sam” Craft (Hayley Griffith) is a pizza delivery girl with regrets.

She took this job for the tips, which turned out to be a bad business decision. “In four hours, my total earnings are an expired Applebees coupon and a sweater that smells like racism,” she complains. But when an order comes in from the well-heeled enclave of Mill Basin, she takes on the job, even though its technically outside the joint’s delivery zone—apparently on the assumption that she’ll finally get a decent tip. What she gets instead is captured by a satanic cult in need of a virgin sacrifice so they can summon Baphomet, a demon from hell, thereby ensuring they stay rich and on top. “Death to the weak, wealth to the strong!” cult leader Danica Ross (Rebecca Romijn) declares.

Sam doesn’t seem to be entirely without, er, allies. The skeevy, lecherous Samuel Ross (Jerry O’Connell) helpfully offers to deflower her to save her skin: “No virgin, no sacrifice. Let me protect you.” Her best bet is Danica’s rebellious daughter Judi (Ruby Modine), who warns, “My mom and her butt buddies are booty-calling Baphomet. And they’re not gonna stop til you’re strapped to a barbed wire altar.” Sure, Danica and her acolytes have all the power, but Sam and Judi have youthful spunk and a keen desire to live. This being a comedy, I like their chances.

Of course, “satanic panic” is a genuine real-world phenomenon of mass hysteria that reached its peak in the 1980s, and is no laughing matter—certainly not for those falsely accused of ritual abuse.  But as Thomas Browne once observed, “The devil… the proud spirit cannot endure to be mocked.” So maybe  is doing the Lord’s work by holding the whole tawdry mess up for well-deserved ridicule.

opens in theaters on September 6, 2019.

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